


Though my hands are prone to trial and error, I'm crossing my fingers for something to hold.

by Kroolea



Category: Star Wars: Kanan (Comics), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Major Character Injury, Sad with a Hopeful Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kroolea/pseuds/Kroolea
Summary: "Dep?"She forces herself to focus on him. "Hmm?""I love you." It's not the first time he's said it, but this time is different.---Desperately awaiting help on Haruun Kal, Depa and Grey talk.
Relationships: CC-10/994 | Grey & Kanan Jarrus, Depa Billaba/CC-10/994 | Grey
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	Though my hands are prone to trial and error, I'm crossing my fingers for something to hold.

**Author's Note:**

> Hrrrg I'm back
> 
> Made playlists for these babies Uhhh check em out please
> 
> spotify- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/68z26CLUtmpSarSAF9UQdF
> 
> youtube- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIhvUur3jrIoRnzFr8scIOX8lD-TFLqQf

Grey glances over at Depa. Her brow is furrowed as she messes with her comm. The screen is smashed and there are wires sticking out haphazardly. Depa isn't the greatest with technology, Styles usually is in charge of fixing their tech but he's not here.

Her torso is bleeding heavily but they don't have any bandages. Their medic was shot down and their supplies is long gone.

Depa coughs into her hand and Grey pretends he doesn't see the blood she wipes on her robes.

"How are you?" He asks softly. She looks up at him and takes an incredibly shaky breath.

"I'm fine."

He nods. "General-"

"We're alone. Call me Depa."

He wishes they weren't alone. She needs medical attention.

Luckily, Grievous and his troops are long gone. Grey didn't look at the bodies of dead men as he carried Depa to a small clearing. She has a saber wound to the side and she had fallen quite a distance. If the blood she keeps coughing up is any indication, she had some internal bleeding 

In any other situation, this clearing would be peaceful. The trees provide shade and there's a small creek a short walk away

.

Depa tries to call someone, anyone, once more but she only gets static.

Grey sits beside her. Neither of them speak but the truth is clear: they're stuck out here until help comes or they both die.

Depa sets the comm down, leaning on his shoulder. She's nodding off after a few minutes and he frowns.

"Tell me about Padawan Depa." He says. She lifts her head and gives him a small smile.

"I was a perfect padawan. No problems, wasn't glib. Made incredibly wise decisions."

He chuckles, that's a lie if he's ever heard one. Once, General Windu told him that Depa was the most hyperactive padawan he had ever seen.

"I wanted a padawan." Depa admits, barely audible. Grey winces at the use of past tense.

"You'll get a padawan. You'll be fine, Dep." He's desperate. He can't lose her. "Don't say things like that."

"Everything will work out as the Force wills." She says calmly.

He huffs. "What if I want to be different. I want to be able to love you freely, to hold your hand and walk down the streets. Why should you not get to train a padawan?"

Depa looks amused. "If the Force wills it, I will."

Grey closes his eyes, trying to center himself. Getting upset doesn't help Depa or him.

He glances at her, her dark eyes are unfocused and she struggles to hold her head up.

"Dep?"

She forces herself to focus on him. "Hmm?"

"I love you." It's not the first time he's said it, but this time is different. It's not whispered or hidden. He says it out loud but he's scared, for her life. He doesn't care if anyone hears.

She smiles and tilts her head so he can kiss her. He complies, letting his lips gently brush hers.

They sit. He tries to stop the tears from dripping down his face but his attempts are useless.

He holds Depa's hand until she goes limp against him. He presses a kiss to the top of her head as he fumbles to feel her pulse.

It's so faint he has to stay absolutely still to feel it. It's there, barely.

Grey doesn't know how long he sits there with Depa leaning against him. But just before nightfall he hears a ship and hears shouts. He scoops Depa up and runs toward them. A medic takes her from his arms and another inspects the throbbing cut on his face. They stitch it up and allow him to sit in silence.

"G-Grey?"

Grey looks up so quickly he gets dizzy. Styles' face expression is a mixture of grief and relief.

"You're alive"

"Yeah."

Grey doesn't want to let go of his _vod'ika_ for a long time. The day was exhausting and everything starts to set in. Everyone's gone.

They're being immediately shipped back to Kamino, Grey is told. He, Styles, Big-Mouth, and Soot are to care for the youngest cadets. He finds that he doesn't mind, caring for the _ad'ikas_ will be soothing.

He doesn't want to leave Depa but be doesn't really have a choice. He knows if she lives she will be in capable hands with the Jedi healers.

For five months Grey's world is limited to the rainy world of Kamino. He likes training the littlest clones. They like him and he finds an odd solace in their grimy hands and impatient faces.

Shaak Ti allows him to go to Coruscant for a bit of leave. He finds himself on the steps of the Jedi temple hesitating. He needs to know if she survived.

Mace Windu meets him inside, giving him a smile.

"Master Ti said you would want to meet me."

"Did Depa... General Billaba live?" He asks, not daring to hold his breath. She lost so much blood.

Windu gives him a faint smile that Grey sees straight through. "She is alive. She's still in bacta. She had quite a bit of internal bleeding. The healers say if she wakes, she'll make a full recovery."

"Can I see her?"

The Jedi hesitates for a half moment for half a second before nodding.

The Healing Halls are peaceful. Nothing like the medbays Grey is used to. Healers speak in soft voices, people are sitting and reading. It's peaceful like Grey has never seen.

Windu leads him into a small room, in a large bars tank is Depa, her hair is much longer than it was last time he saw her.

"I have a council meeting in fifteen minutes. I'll escort you out of the temple."

Grey nods. Alone with his thoughts he presses a hand to the cold glass of the bacta tank. "Please make it through this, Depa. I can't live without you."

He takes a deep breath, glancing around the room even though he knows it's empty.

"I love you, Dep. Don't die on me."

There isn't much more to say. She doesn't magically awake and he doesn't have anything to say, keeping Windu waiting would be useless. He opens the door and doesn't even blink an eye at the youngling that yelps and falls back, obviously trying to eavesdrop. The boy has floppy hair and bright eyes.

Grey rolls his eyes at the boy's lack of stealth and helps him stand. The boy brushes his robes off and gives Grey a crooked smile.

"Is she awake?" The boy asks curiously.

"Not yet."

"Oh. She's been unconscious for a long time."

He nods. Force, he is well aware of that. It's been months. Months of waiting. Not knowing if beautiful, enthusiastic, kind Depa will wake. He misses her.

"She'll wake up again. I know it."

"Thanks, uh, kid?"

"I'm Caleb."

"Grey."

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to check out those playlists if you haven't already :)))
> 
> Chat about these two and their child with me on Instagram @onceuponagalaxyfarfaraway


End file.
